I know you don’t want to hear this…but I’m great at what I do because I’m willing to say what people don’t want to hear (but need to)…
things your girlfriends would never tell you…things that are the difference between “hoping” you’ll have love, and making it a reality.
Look, our friends and family mean well — they hate to see us suffering, so they tell us “he’ll show up someday” or “you can’t hurry love” or “he was a jerk” or other statements which soothe us, but keep us from love.
So, if you’re not growing in love…if you’re not getting better results…if you’re not FEELING better about yourself on dates and “in the wild”…
Then you’re staying stuck.
This is the season to GROW! It’s SPRING! The seeds have been planted and there is love that wants to grow in your life — if you’re alive, you are meant for this love.
But those seeds can’t blossom if they’re covered in dirt without the right care — including sunshine, water, and fertilizer…
this is what your friends are NOT willing to tell you. The sh!t. That fact is, you CAN change your love life, and it is your responsibility to CHANGE, not complain. The fact is, they’re probably as sick of hearing about your love life problems as they are of online dating.
Most of us don’t want to change, we don’t want our friends to change, and we don’t want to tell our friends “look, you’re getting in your own way. Stop complaining, and start doing something different! Get help, get support, find a coach.”
But sometimes we need that wake up call. We need someone to tell us “THIS ISN’T WORKING! What are you going to do to fix it?”
We need to have a healthy “father” figure in our life that gets us moving into the next phase of our evolution and isn’t afraid to tell it like it is.
Most women who aren’t growing in love feel it’s all someone else’s fault — men, the apps, society — and they aren’t willing to take responsibility for their part of the problem
…which will never work, because in relationship both partners have to take 100% responsibility. It’s not 50/50. You both have to be all in.
Most women who aren’t growing in love, because they aren’t willing to take responsibility, have a hard time being vulnerable.
When you’re blaming someone else or projecting your issues onto them, you can’t be vulnerable. Vulnerability is about inward reflection and admitting how you feel. It’s dropping the stories and excuses and speaking from your heart.
I struggled with this for about 5 years, in my late twenties. OMG the torture I put my friends through!!!
Calling them crying when he ghosted…sharing (oversharing) all the juicy details of my dates…asking for reassurance and to re-read my text messages again and again…
I think back and go wow, I wasn’t ready to change then, I just wanted a support blanket.
What made the difference for me to stop complaining and start changing?
I got to the point of despair and heartbreak that I simply could not go through another breakup.
I had been dating a guy for 3 months and then he said “I like you but I’m looking for a wife, not a girlfriend.”
OUCH! He basically told me I wasn’t wife material.
Then after that, I dated a guy who texted me on a Tuesday morning that he wanted to have a three-some. WHAT? I had no idea he was dating anyone else or that he was into that. Needless to say that text was a surprise because we’d barely even talked about intimacy.
Those two experiences, back to back, were the last straw. I could not keep crying and complaining about my love life. I had to actually make a change.
Now I help women make those same changes — I’ve helped hundreds of women get back their feminine power and attract a great guy who wants to commit.
Imagine knowing what to do in dating and love so that you don’t have to cry on your friend’s shoulder…
Imagine having an expert on your side, instead of lousy advice from people too scared to tell you the truth…
Imagine having FUN dating and feeling confident in your new relationship, instead of expecting to be ghosted…
IMAGINE NEVER HAVING TO DATE AGAIN! Wow! Mind-blowing, right?
But don’t try this at home. Change is hard and nearly impossible on our own. That’s why only 8% of people ever accomplish their New Year’s goals or resolutions.
Change is lasting when we change our mindset, our heartset, our skillset, and our environment (aka community support). Willpower alone doesn’t work.
Are you ready to start being loved?
Xoxo, Violet
PS if you’re sick of your friends telling you “it’ll all be okay” but you’re still single and alone, let’s talk. Most of our friends don’t actually know how to date effectively or create a great love. But our team of experts does. Set up your free Breakthrough to Love call now at www.violetlange.com/talk
