Let’s change the narrative that feminine energy = passivity. Sitting still isn’t working. Sweet and nice. Look pretty. Smile more. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Be a good girl.


This type of feminine energy attracts unhealthy masculine energy — the type of partner who wants a trophy or someone to control. And combined, unhealthy feminine and masculine create an unhealthy society without true accountability, justice, or love.


That bland femininity actually repels the healthy masculine, and it’s not serving you. Or me. Or our society.


Do you want to be someone’s puppet? Or their partner?


The healthy feminine is audacious. She speaks out. She expresses her creativity, even when it’s messy and wild. She has sass that seduces without even having to be sensual.


The healthy masculline is the peacemaker. This energy holds the space, and protects the feminine as she storms and rages and dances. The healthy masculine is a witness, knowing she’s birthing something new, dazzled by her. 


Now is not the time to sit still. Now is not the time to wrap everything in “love and light” — spiritual bypass will not draw a healthy partner to you. 


Pretending it’s all puppies and unicorns will just attract someone who hasn’t done their work (someone who won’t be able to sustain a commitment).


In the last two months I’ve helped five clients get into relationships, yes, even during COVID-19. How? Because they embodied the feminine energy that doesn’t give a flip — they weren’t chasing or performing or being nice in order to get a prize. 


Some of these women met their partner in real life, some online, but all of them got support and structure so their powerful feminine energy could feel safe being expressed. 


Society wants you to believe that feminine energy is docile and conforming. But that distortion of feminine energy actually props up the outdated systems which are oppressing so many people. 


If you can’t feel beyond “polite,” how can your partner respect and cherish you?


Too many “nice” women get cheated on or left behind. 


But this is not your fault. You most likely didn’t learn how to be authentic with your emotions. You may be afraid that if you’re bold, you’ll be judged or labeled as difficult. 


In my experience working with hundreds of women, it’s the exact opposite. People are drawn to the raw, real, authentic you, and you meet your partner much faster.


The very start of dating, you are laying down patterns which affect how the relationship will unfold (and if it’ll even go anywhere). How you show up makes a huge difference in whether you will or won’t have lasting love. 


If that’s something you are looking for help with, let me know. I offer free Love Strategy Sessions at www.violetlange.com/talk — 45 minute calls to really understand your patterns and what to do differently. But these aren’t for the faint of heart, so only sign up if you are ready to learn and grow.


The best part of reclaiming your authentic feminine energy isn’t getting into a great relationship (although that rocks too), it’s liberating all the energy you used to waste on trying to be perfect in order to feel loved. 


Imagine what you could put that energy into…and if every woman did this, how much energy would be available for changing the world.


Xoxo, Violet

P.S. If you consider yourself to be a spiritual woman, but keep attracting narcissists or non-committal partners, chances are you’re playing it safe and being way too nice. And chances are, that same pattern is keeping you from being of greater service to humanity. I’d love to see if I can help you shift this dynamic, so you can live your soul’s purpose and have a flourishing partnership too. Set up a free Love Strategy session here: www.violetlange.com/talk

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