The myth is that you have to go on a bunch of dates to find a great guy. Kiss a lot of frogs they say.
The truth is that you do NOT have to go on a bunch of dates to find a great guy. It only takes one!
Some women wear the number of dates they go on like a badge of honor…
“I had 5 dates last week. I’m so exhausted. We’ll see…” But they burn out and lose hope.
Other women haven’t gone on a date in months, or even years! And don’t have the right skillset to date effectively.
Where do you fall on this spectrum?
How many first dates did you have in 2018? (during the time you were single — not counting dates when you were in a relationship)
How many of them led to second dates?
I’ve worked with many clients who with my help find their husband after only 4 or 5 dates.
For my client S, it was the 4th guy she met online. For my client R, it was the 5th guy she met. For my client T it was the 8th guy she met. NOT the 100th!
Dating is NOT a numbers game! Don’t waste your time going on millions of dates. But, don’t go on so few that you close off your heart.
How many dates does it take to find love, actually?
You should be going on 1 to 2 first dates (new guys) a month. HIGH QUALITY dates. With men that you would be interested in building a long term relationship with.
And you should be getting second dates with MOST of them. Both of you should have done enough “diligence” beforehand to know you want to have a second date, and both of you should have the skill and confidence to not botch the first meeting.
If you’re dating too much (multiple first dates a week) and dating ineffectively…
Or if you’re not getting enough first dates (12 to 24 a year)…
Or if you’re not getting second dates with most of the men you meet (because you’re not filtering right or you’re pushing away the right guys)
Then you need to change your approach and learn the right way to date.
Your time and your heart are too valuable to waste on go-nowhere dates, or sitting home alone, or not converting dates to relationships.
If you want to meet your guy in the next few guys you meet, let’s talk. You can do this!
Xoxo Violet
PS I went on over 100 first dates so you don’t have to — forget trial and error, your love life is too urgent and important for that! I have a system to make dating effective and efficient, and get you into a great relationship fast. If you’re ready for love now, and to date smarter not harder, just book a time to talk with me or my team at www.violetlange.com/talk
