Do you wonder why he doesn’t respond to your messages?


Do you go back and reread your texts, wondering what you said wrong?


Do you swing back and forth from “playing it cool” to being really flirty and warm, and not know what to do when?


The truth is, there’s no silver bullet to texting, because even if you memorize a certain way to text, if it’s not authentic, it’ll backfire. 


However there ARE guidelines and tips that can make your texting way more effective in keeping the relationship going and inspiring him to make the next move (without feeling needy or desperate or manipulative).


I teach my clients those guidelines in the Texting 101 portion of my course Queens of Pleasure (all about dating like a Queen, attracting your King, and feeling good along the way!).


So I’m pulling back the curtain here to share with you the top three things that push him away over text…


Don’t do these three things over text if you want to build a solid partnership!


FIRST Texting No-No: Don’t text him a ton of questions rapid-fire


Sure, you can ask questions and get to know someone. But if you don’t give him a chance to respond, it starts to feel overwhelming. When we ask a bunch of questions it’s normally because we’re not comfortable with the silence, or we’ve put our focus WAY too much on the other person and lost sight of ourselves. However, if you never ask any questions, the conversation can stall…


SECOND Texting No-No: Don’t focus so much the plans and logistics


Oftentimes women get insecure if there’s no plan for the next date. But a lot of men are taking it date by date and feeling into the connection — remember, men make micro-commitments…they commit a little (like sending a text, or going on one date, or sharing with you an article) and see how (or if) it pays off. Whereas most women plan in advance, make big commitments, and get ahead of themselves. This can be a big mismatch. Be okay with NOT having the next plan made and let go of having an agenda.


THIRD Texting No-No: Don’t criticize or complain over text


Look, I get it — life can be hard and we all have down days. But if you’re always criticizing people, being negative, or complaining about your life, it’s a big turn off. It’s not his job to coddle you or cheer you up — although as you get closer to one another, when you’re vulnerable he will naturally want to emotionally support you. But as you’re texting and getting to know one another, there’s a big difference between being vulnerable and being whiny. Know the difference 😉


Have you made these mistakes before? And are you ready to text in a way that’s totally enticing?


Xoxo, Violet


PS if you can’t figure how why and how men text, or how to keep things getting better and better in between dates, let’s talk. We help women every day figure out how to communicate effectively over text, especially in the early stages of dating when things are just starting to heat up. Get support here by booking your free Discovery Call at 

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