The number one thing to change to attract a good man is actually not your dating profile or the clothes you wear…

It’s your mindset.

We see what we believe, not we believe what we see.

Femininity is about believing BEFORE you see it, not after…it’s trusting with faith, versus waiting for evidence.

So if we believe that men are jerks, we are going to start noticing all the jerks in our environment.

If we believe that men are cheaters, we’re going to start noticing all the men who cheat.

If we believe that men are great and kind-hearted and always do the right thing for the people in their lives, and we’re going to start to notice that too.

So I’m going to give you a challenge for this week, and my challenge this week is for you to find the attributes that you most want in your partner, believe they exist, and look for them in your world..

Maybe it’s kindness, maybe it’s integrity. Maybe it’s honesty…

whatever those attributes are that you’re looking for in a partner, I want you to go on a scavenger hunt this next week and I want you to look for those attributes in the men that you see around you.

Whether they’re single or not, whether they talk to you or not, just start to notice all those attributes as they already exist in the world.

So when you start to open up to the possibility that what you want is actually there, it becomes exciting.

It raises your vibration, it helps you know that it’s possible, and it puts your focus on the thing that you actually want instead of the focus on the thing that you don’t want.

If you focus on the thing you don’t want, you’re going to get more of it.

If you focus on the thing that you do want, you’re going to get more of that.

So when I first started doing this six years ago, I started noticing all the ways in which men were chivalrous.

Maybe it was an older man, like in his 60s who was opening the door, but still, it was a man opening the door. And then I would notice a younger man like in his 20s helping carry a baby stroller up the stairs from the subway station.

I’d be like dang, that’s amazing.

We get what we focus on when we change our mindset and take action.

Xoxo, Violet

PS If you’re ready for a new mindset, and strategy, around love, and are committed to getting what your heart longs for, let’s talk! Set up your free Breakthrough to Love session here: We have a few spots for these 45 minute calls for women now.


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