How can you tell if you’re closer to meeting your dream partner?
Is it catching the bouquet at a wedding? Is it getting more interest on the apps? Is it getting your hair done or new clothes?
None of those are signs that you’re growing in love…in fact we can get so caught up in the external factors that oftentimes we think we’re closer to love because of the activity…but we might be farther away than ever. Dating is NOT a numbers game.
Great relationships don’t just happen. We have to prepare, do our work, and be ready to build a strong partnership which lasts a lifetime. It starts within.
After working with hundreds of women to go from single to committed, here are the 5 Hidden Signs you’re close to love:
1–You feel excited about other people’s weddings and even PDA
If you see people getting married, receiving flowers, reading Hallmark cards, or holding hands and you feel sad, jealous, disgusted, annoyed…those are signs of rejecting love. We may go through these phases, but typically we’re closer to love when we have true joy at the love we see around us and the desire to have that for ourselves. Love grows and is additive…the more love there is, the more it helps you! When you’re growing in love you realize that everyone is a representation of you and if they have love, it’s coming for you too.
2–It feels natural to ask for what you want
When someone asks you what you’re looking for, you don’t shy away or divert your eyes or pretend you’re cool with casual dating if you want so much more. It feels easy to tell a date or a friend or someone you’ve met online exactly what you want, without fear they’ll reject you and without shame that you haven’t had it yet.
3–You’re willing to walk away from love that’s mediocre
This means you’ve sifted and sorted and most likely had some MAJOR reorganizing of what you thought was important. You’ve let go of the checklist and dating from your head, and learned to trust your intuition and your heart. You may have even had to say goodbye to who you “thought” was going to be the one, in order to find out what you thought was important isn’t actually what you need. In my case, I used to be looking for men with a set income level…when what I really needed to fill my soul was emotional attunement and integrity.
4–Things that used to bother you no longer do
When you date in an immature way, you look for superficial reasons to reject love. “His forearms are too skinny…” “he has a roommate…” “he’s going bald…” “he didn’t text me good morning…” When you date in a mature way (aka the ready-for-love way), you aren’t bothered by the superficial details. You focus on the substance of the love, the quality of love, more than the form or structure.
5–You’re willing to be led into the unknown
When you’re far away from love, you seek certainty as a way to avoid being hurt, as a way to control yourself or the situation or the other person. Control is the opposite of love. Certainty is also the opposite of love. Love moves us more than anything else can…love is full of unknowns, full of vulnerability, and full of surrender. You’re wise enough to let your ego die again and again into the fire of love.
If any of these 5 hidden signs are a challenge for you, it’s time to get support. Relationships are different now, and the qualities and skills you need to make love happen and keep it strong are a far cry from what we learned in school.
Are you ready to be closer to love, or are you okay still feeling like it’s a lifetime away?
Xoxo, Violet
PS if you feel farther away than ever from the love you crave, I’ve got good news. You don’t have to wait forever. My clients get into fabulous relationships in a matter of months, not years, and leave their friends wondering how they did it. If you’re ready for the shortcut to romance and partnership, just set up a free Breakthrough to Love call here: www.violetlange.com/talk
