You may be curious what to look for if you’re dating at this time. I talk to women every day about their love life, and believe me, I’ve heard it all. But here are the three most common phrases to watch out for:
First, you never want to hear someone online say “Let’s just quarantine together.”
It sounds inviting, maybe?!? And I know you might be lonely after 4 months of physical distancing. But, this is going too fast, too soon, and it’s coming from a place of neediness. Slow their roll — you haven’t even MET yet.
Rushing to intimacy (emotional or physical) and getting you to commit to quarantining together, before you’ve developed a relationship, is not cool.
Second, you never want to hear someone online say “Can we just wait until we meet up?”
If someone isn’t willing to talk on the phone or have a facetime date…if they only want to text when it’s convenient for them, until all of this “blows over,” it means they’re not really down for a relationship to begin with.
Anyone who’s not willing to talk or facetime is just not that into deep connection, and probably not that emotionally available.
Third, you never want to hear someone online say “Can’t things just go back to normal?”
Why is this problematic? Well, it shows that they want comfort and ease in their life. It shows that they’re reminiscing about the past. And it shows they are probably not that interested in growth and change.
For you, that might be okay. But for the women I work with, they’re interested in partners who are up for the revolution. Partners who defy “normal” and who seek to live an extraordinary life with an incredible lover by their side.
Someone you’re messaging with who is clinging to the old ways and annoyed by current events is not going to automatically change into someone who sees the challenges in your future relationship as opportunities. They’ve pretty much shown you already what they do when faced with adversity.
Look, this time is full of chaos. But we can all use that as an excuse, or as an option to get right in our lives. This can be a time of stagnation or a time of powerful change.
Dating is ripe with open-hearted people wanting to connect more deeply. Right now.
You just have to know how to find them, and then how to create and sustain an empowering relationship.
If that’s something you might want help with, let me know here: www.violetlange.com/talk
When you go to that link you can pick out a time to talk to me or someone from my team, so you can leverage this time to emerge with more love, more integrity, and more divine union.
P.S. Now that you know what to avoid, what do you look for? Sifting through the dating sites can feel like quite a process…but I love to help amazing, committed, open-minded women do just that. In fact, it makes dating kinda fun, even now. If you’d like to see how to make dating work for you, where you feel confident and get treated like a Queen, set up a love strategy session here: www.violetlange.com/talk
Photo by Kelly Sikkema