Have you ever had a situation totally fizzle out after one or two hot dates?


Have you ever been all of a sudden repulsed by someone you used to be crazy about?


Have you ever looked back on someone you dated and thought “I can’t believe I dated him, we had nothing in common”?


Most people start a relationship based on primal attraction — how does he look, what does he do for work, what is his status in the world, how charming is he etc.


This is basically looking at a potential partner from the root (1st) or sacral (2nd) chakra — we are unconsciously looking to see “can he make me feel safe?” and “does he feel familiar?” and “do I get turned on by him?” 


This usually backfires. Just because there is a root and sacral chakra connection doesn’t mean you’ll share a similar vision for your life, or effective communication, or healthy heart-based love. 


You can’t get to an elevated love by starting at the bottom. You get to an elevated love by dating first from a spiritual connection, and working your way down towards a physical connection. 


For instance, in an elevated, lasting partnership, you feel attracted to someone primarily based on their energy and on their purpose (7th chakra attributes).


You talk to them and better understand their vision of the world and their life (6th chakra)…if it aligns with yours, you continue to get to know them and how they communicate and express themselves (5th chakra).


This may lead to feeling loved, and open, and vulnerable (4th chakra)…so you see if your sense of self and identity blends well with his sense of self and identity (3rd chakra). If there are no power struggles or big clashes, you start to enjoy life together and physical intimacy (2nd chakra).


If this is all going well, you look for compatibility (1st chakra)…you build a life together, becoming a family, and merging households etc.


If you start backwards — from the root first — you will be playing out old family patterns and then intensifying those with sensual energy.


If you start from the crown first, you have an opportunity to bring your highest self into partnership and have true lasting love — love where you are a vibrational match and can grow together because you have a common purpose and similar vision and values.


Dating in this way takes guidance from someone who can cut through the BS of modern dating and help you attract a true partner. A mentor who can help you communicate from your highest self, but without losing the authenticity of your emotions and desires. An expert who can help you build a new identity in love, with confidence and pleasure and ease.


If you want true love, you don’t have to work with me — but DO work with someone. I may not be the right fit for everyone, but for my clients I will go to the ends of the earth for them to help them find love. Don’t let this part of your life stay stuck in old energetic patterns. Reach out to me at www.violetlange.com/talk or to someone else for support.


Here’s to a totally new paradigm in dating,


Xoxo, Violet

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