I talked to a woman at a party who said her goal this year was love.


When I asked her what she was going to do to get that goal, she said “talk to more people.”




“How is talking to more people going to get you love?” I asked.


She said she had been online for FIVE years and hadn’t had a good relationship since her high-school sweetheart two decades ago.


In 2018 she had really put all her effort into online dating…only to meet 40 guys and have 39 of them be duds.


She was exhausted because she was dating in absolutely the wrong way — dating harder not smarter.


But her 2019 “strategy” of talking to more people in real life was even worse…she will get even more exhausted talking to more people and going to more events because that requires way more effort than online.


And the worst part is, she still doesn’t know how to be vulnerable, feminine, authentic, and desirable — even after all that effort.


Now it’s not her fault that she has no idea how to date the right way.


It’s not like there was a class in school called “Dating 101,” and with her parents divorced, she didn’t have a good role model for relationships.


But nonetheless, her love life is totally going downhill. Fast. And it’s getting worse.


Don’t do that. Please don’t date harder, don’t go to a million events talking to everyone there, and don’t approach dating with all this masculine energy.


My clients are SMART. They realize what a waste it is to go on a bunch of dates or go out to a bunch of events if they don’t have the right skills, mindset, and support to turn those dates into a relationship and love.


They use my system and program, and they get into a great relationship fast — my client R. met her guy within 4 weeks of working with me and 8 months later they’re still going strong…


even though she hadn’t had a real relationship in years and was more lost than ever when we began our work.


Be savvy with your time. Don’t spend decades since your last good relationship just “hoping” things change or putting so much effort in without any skill. Things change when you change. If you’re not in a great relationship, there’s a reason why.


You cannot analyze your way to love. You cannot willpower your way to love. And you cannot exhaust your way to love.


But you CAN love yourself to love, care for yourself to love, be supported and guided to love. This is the feminine approach.


Xoxo, Violet


PS if you’re ready to get out of the fog of online dating, without having to go to a million events, so you can finally have a healthy relationship, let’s talk! 2019 can be your year of partnership and lasting romance. Just grab a spot for a free Breakthrough to Love session with my team here: www.violetlange.com/talk

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