Have you been thinking that love is all about what you give to your partner?
Have you gotten overwhelmed or exhausted by giving all the time, only to have the relationship end?
In the past, co-dependent relationships were the norm, and in some ways necessary. Life was too tough to go it alone, or people stayed together for the kids.
But now most relationships are failing. It’s not enough to stay together for the kids, and it’s not enough to settle for someone who sucks your soul, just for the financial payoff of having a partner.
So many people have decided to be single…but they don’t have to be if they want love. You don’t have to be single, if you decide you want to learn how to date effectively and build a healthy partnership.
But your focus needs to be less on “what can I give to this other person?” and more on “what can we create together?”
The best relationships have a shared purpose. A vision beyond each individual person which gives meaning to their love, and gives back to humanity.
This may look like being a role model for your kids, or your community, of what love looks like. It may be creating art together, or a service project.
It’s no longer just about finding someone to meet your needs, whom you’re also okay with meeting their needs. It’s about creating love which does so much more.
What will co-creative love do for you? Will it inspire you to start a business? Will it lead you to new travels or new adventures? Will it entice you to write a children’s book or design clothes or plant a community garden?
Who will you become when you have a solid, fulfilling, passionate partnership? Will you become bigger? More expressed? More confident? More playful?
If you tend to get worse in partnership — more anxious, more controlling, more sad — then something is off…love is meant to give us more and give the world more.
But you may not have learned how to do this, especially if you never saw this kind of love growing up, and especially if most of your friends just complain about their partner.
One of the most important things in finding a great relationship is to have a vision of love which brings the best out of you, contributes more to the planet, and keeps you going through the uncertainty of dating.
If you struggle to have a big vision, or if you struggle to believe in it, or if you struggle to know how to bring it to life, you need help! But it can be fun and smooth with the right support and system.
This is my speciality — helping women find and keep lasting relationships with expansive love and lots of creativity. See if we can help at www.violetlange.com/talk
P.S. if you’re sick of the cycle of codependent relationship, then being independent, then getting back into a codependent relationship again, when what you really want is an elevated, co-creative love, let’s talk. Set up a free Discovery Call with us here now: www.violetlange.com/talk