Oh wow…Flirting can be SO tricky!
Listen, most of my clients used to be really bad at flirting. So if you are cringing right now, it’s okay.
I want to share with you the top flirting mistakes my clients USED to make, so you don’t have to go through these…and end up rejected or in the friend-zone, or feeling totally embarrassed.
One of my clients, L, came to me so anxious about men and super shy.
When we finished our work together not only was she feeling so confident that men were approaching HER all the time (the other ladies in the group called her the Queen of Flirting),
but she is now dating a great guy she met in real-life, because of her flirting skill.
Here’s what NOT to do:
1–Don’t be a robot.
Yes I see you, Ms. Headphones on in the gym, head down in the grocery store, arms crossed at the party. You might think you’re just “busy” or productive or plotting your empire. But my guess is you’re just afraid of failing at love or looking dumb, so you pretend you don’t care.
2–Don’t be their mom.
We’ve all done it…gotten so enthusiastic we’re nearly coaching the guy we’re talking to, and we barely know him. If you find yourself validating effusively someone you just met, be mindful — most guys find this creepy.
3–Don’t try to impress them.
Ever noticed how weird it feels when you start touting your accomplishments and the guy slowly backs away? Look it’s cool if you’ve been to 35 countries or work 60 hours a week. But men don’t want to compete with you — they want to adore you. So watch out for conversations that feel like comparison.
4–Don’t freeze.
Yep. This is the most common one. Are you cool as a cucumber when you’re with your friends or crushing it at work? But hot-guy looks at you and you look away, panic, or freeze? I’m the girl who spit gum on her middle-school crush during Physical Education dance class, because I was so excited I literally spit it out. Let’s just say he never asked me out.
We all know it takes flirting — online or in person — to get to a date and for the date to go well.
Don’t blow it with making any of these mistakes.
And if you need help with flirting in a way that’s empowered — not weird or desparate — just reach out.
Dating is a skill you can get better at, so you can have the love life you deserve. We just were never taught this in middle school 😉
xoxo, Violet
PS if you are ready to rock in your love life and feel confident flirting with any guy, any where, any time, let’s talk! Even if you don’t always flirt, wouldn’t it feel good to know you could if you wanted to? And that any date would lead to a second and third? If this interests you, set up a time to talk with us now: www.violetlange.com/talk
