The precise thing that your partner found so attractive is often the first thing to go out the window once we get into someone.

We stop speaking our truth when we used to be unapologetic.

We shut down sexually when we used to be so hot.

We withhold our feelings when we used to be authentic.

Why do we sacrifice or betray the very thing that draws others towards us?

We’re afraid that that person might leave us.

We’re afraid of rejection.

This is a BIG problem, because every day I talk to women who are pretty good at getting dates but continue to have 2 or 3 month relationships — they are sabotaging themselves, and it makes it even harder to feel more confident for the next one.

When you reject yourself by changing who you are, out of fear the others person will leave, the relationship will always collapse.

You must fully claim, and reclaim over and over again, your unique light. Your expressive truth. Your vulnerable heart. And your sexy side.

Do not let the other person’s new shine take away from your glow.

Do not let your confidence and inner worth slip.

Stay totally committed to yourself and your vision.

What does that partnership vision look like?

AND, are you acting in accordance with it, or settling for what you can get?

stay fiercely committed and devoted to YOU, so that you’re not settling and you’re not putting the other person’s needs above yourself.

Sometimes we get stuck in fantasy-land.

The women who settle the most, have the hardest time keeping a relationship.

I know that sounds crazy — but if you are settling, not fully in, he can tell. And he will leave before you have the chance to reject him.

Be bold with what you want, never settle out of fear of rejection, and never betray yourself for a morsel of love when a feast is just around the corner (if you know where to look).

Xoxo, Violet

PS if you’re ready for the buffet and the confidence to know you can get a relationship past the 3 month mark and into marriage, we should talk. Find a time here at for a free Breakthrough to Love session.

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