The myth is that you shouldn’t be afraid…
The truth is that you should be afraid.
Pretending we don’t have fear keeps us closed off in our hearts, and naive.
It suppresses this basic human emotion which has a ton of power for us if we pay attention to it.
Ironically the more we ignore our fear the more we freak the f out!
I get so upset when I see women who tell me:
“on the outside I look great and confident, but I’m so afraid to admit that I’m scared…and I’m sabotaging my own relationship”
Under the fear is often longing — a longing to feel safe, to be loved, and to trust ourselves.
When we are catapulting past fear, oftentime we’re not taking savvy actions which will lead us to love…we’re just going in a circle of frenzy.
One of my clients Diana is an attorney who has it all together, or so it seemed…
But she confided in me on our first call that she felt absolutely lonely and devastated.
The more dates she went on, the worse she felt.
And for the few times she got into a relationship, it always fizzled out…in large part from her anxiety.
It was like watching a kid meticulously build a sand castle and then stomp and smash it as soon as it’s built. Ouch.
She was honestly terrified to start working with me — not because I’m a brat lol, but because she didn’t want to confront her old patterns.
But she knew she couldn’t stay stuck — it was costing her the chance for love. She knew opportunities don’t disappear — in love and in life — they just go to someone who’s more awake and committed.
When we began our journey, I didn’t push past her fear or tell her to “get over it.”
That aggressive “toughen up” approach never works for the feminine in love!
We instead used my process of feminine embodiment, supportive community, and an effective relationship / dating strategy, to gently work WITH (not against) her fear.
She has an amazing boyfriend now who she says is sexy AF and treats her like gold.
It’s almost hard to believe that the woman I see now is even the same person…
She’s confident, sexy, self-assured, and going on 6 months with her man.
They’ve met their families and are talking about moving in.
Another one of my clients, Julie, came to me already in a relationship of about 5 months. But she was panicked that it wouldn’t last.
We worked with her fear, her anxiety, and her doubts, to completely transform who she is in her relationship.
And they are talking about marriage. She says he’s totally stepping up and meeting her needs.
Couldn’t YOU have that?
Are you afraid of changing and discovering how powerful you are? Afraid of healthy love?
Or are you more afraid of staying stuck and alone?
If you have fear, it’s not your fault. Our society tells us “no fear”…the same society with rampant sexual abuse. It’s okay to be afraid. I have worked with women with boatloads of fear — and my ways still are effective. But only if you are ready to wake up 🙂
PS I know what a beast fear can be, and that’s why I like helping women work through it to find their power in love. If you’re ready to listen to your fear and rise into your full potential, let’s talk. Just pick out a spot for your free Breakthrough to Love call here: www.violetlange.com/talk