If you’re not in relationship, I know the holidays can be a tough time. I can’t tell you how many times I had Thanksgiving Day single, and in fact, for whatever reason, I had three major breakups right before Thanksgiving, a few weeks before Thanksgiving.

November used to feel like such a challenging month, looking ahead without a love to spend the holidays with.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You’ve probably heard about the studies, where they yelled mean things at an apple…and said nice things to another apple. The apple that was criticized turned moldy faster than the apple that got showered with positive compliments.

They’ve done this experiment for plants and for water, and the actual crystalline structure of the water changes depending on the positive or negative words used.

It’s truly amazing what happens to life, when it’s criticized versus when it’s appreciated.

Let me let you in a little secret: our relationships are no different.

If you really wanna get the best out of your future partner, you don’t criticize every man that you meet, you don’t sit there on a date, looking for what’s wrong with the other person, and in the back of your mind thinking negative thoughts about them.

You look for what’s amazing and you appreciate what’s already there, so the relationship has the best chance of flourishing.

I see so many women sabotage their relationships because they don’t understand this key component.

They’re being perfectionists with themselves, being critical on themselves, critical on the whole world, and that leads to how they treat their partner.

Most people don’t wanna be around someone who’s being super critical, because then we’re feeling like, “Huh, I’m just not enough, how can I ever live up to this person’s expectations?”

If you’re not in partnership yet… if you’re single or went through a bad breakup in the last few months…

You know what? None of it really matters.

I’m not minimizing your story, but I’m just saying, you have a fresh slate today and everyday, if you have deep appreciation for yourself and your journey.

I have deep appreciation for you and your journey — I am so glad you are here right now, and we’re connecting this way.

Please don’t try to figure out what’s wrong and then over analyze yourself to death, which only just puts you in your masculine energy even more.

Stick with the language of appreciation, of vulnerability, and of celebrating differences. Let go of looking for what you did wrong, let go of blaming your date or your ex. Let go of these patterns of the past.

You can learn how to communicate with men so that you’re not emasculating them. And it starts with appreciation.

What are you appreciating? What are you appreciating about yourself and your journey and your future partner?  

Imagine it’s Thanksgiving Day in 2018 — what would have you feeling so full of gratitude for your partner?

What would be so amazing about that partnership, that person? And who would you have to be in order to be in that partnership?

It’s never too late to start the gratitude practice, not only for what you have, but also for what’s coming.

So, start giving gratitude for your amazing partner who’s gonna show up in your life, start giving gratitude for the mentors and teachers that will help you find this amazing partner, and start giving gratitude for yourself, for every step of your journey that has gotten you this far.

If you wanna talk a little bit more about what that exciting future would look like, what your partnership would be like, and all the ways that will benefit your life…

I would totally love to set up a session with you, a free complimentary breakthrough session.

In this session, we promise to deliver value on what’s really happening in your love life, what’s keeping you stuck and what it is that you want, both for these holidays and the ones for next year, so you don’t have to feel lonely again.

Xoxo, Violet

So, if you’re interested in that breakthrough session, just go to www.violetlange.com/apply and set up your free time. We have a few appointments available still this weekend.

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