Are you dating based on the other person’s “size” instead of their substance?
Are you “evaluating” someone by the size of their bank account, job status, house, or height?
Truthfully it’s not the size of anything that really counts, because size is based on perspective. Something seems much bigger close up than it does far away.
It breaks my heart when women let a great guy go because of something really superficial…
and it also breaks my heart when men let a great woman go because of something superficial.
Both men and women are guilty of dating in a way that’s not deep or true.
Wouldn’t it be nice to stop dating based on size, and stop attracting men who are “evaluating” you in return?
Wouldn’t it be nice to not feel any resistance to a great guy, and just be able to focus on all the good things he offers?
The real reason we evaluate a potential partner is because once we let go of the superficial judgements, what’s left is OUR OWN STUFF TO WORK ON!
Whenever a woman digs deeper than the surface things that bother her, the biggest thing she finds is her own fear. Her own avoidance, her own challenges in accepting love.
One of my clients met a guy who had literally EVERYTHING she was looking for…except he looked a little different than what she imagined.
As we talked about how amazing he was with her kids, how generous he was with his time, energy, and money, and how aligned he was with her vision and values, she started to laugh, and realized that beneath her surface “complaints” was a deeper fear…that he would “leave” her because she wasn’t “enough” (once we learn to receive, we often fear that we are no longer “proving” how lovable we are!)
I helped her become the Queen of Receiving, to open her heart to his love, and to get comfortable with valuing his substance over his looks (he’s still attractive, just different than she had expected). Now they’re dating exclusively and enjoying each other so much.
If you want big love, stop dating according to size, and start dating deeper — yes, it will bring up all that’s not love, so you can heal it. But the journey is well worth it to have a true partner by your side.
If you find you’re constantly pushing men away because they don’t measure up…or if you find you’re attracting men who judge you, then let’s talk. Something deeper is going on and I’d love to see if I can compassionately help you get to the bottom of it. Set up a free call at www.violetlange.com/talk
I read this on your Instagram and it was so lovely I came back to your website. I think that yes once women feel deeplt self-loved a lot of barriers fall away- to love and to life.