The myth is that men have commitment issues…
The truth is that all people, including women, have commitment issues.
Do you have a hard time moving a relationship along or inspiring your partner to commit?
We oftentimes would rather hold onto our fear and our stories — which are known — than to the potential of love. We’d rather blame the other person than look at our own challenges with commitment.
Which is too bad really, because commitment (to ourselves and the process) is necessary to GET TO A COMMITMENT, be it exclusivity or marriage.
What’s up with that, holding onto old fears while love passes you by?
It is not your fault that this happens.
Our brains are wired to repeat the same old patterns — the same stories, worries, and fears.
Why? Because our brain loves efficiency and familiarity.
It takes a whole lot more energy to make a new pattern than to keep going down the same track.
It’s like using a super-highway of old limiting beliefs and fears which lead you back to the same familiar anxious patterns and failed relationships…
Versus carving a new trail in the jungle — laying down the path of new beliefs, cutting out the old beliefs, getting the support you need — which leads to epic paradise.
Once a new pathway in the mind is built and you use it a few times, it gets easier and easier.
And the rewards are well worth it! When you create a new habit in dating and relationships, you get incredible, juicy, lasting love much faster (and with way more fun).
My client Mira used to date men who didn’t have their stuff together and expected her to do all the work in the relationship.
We changed her beliefs and habits in love and now she’s dating a guy who is smart and successful and loves to treat her.
What Mira has is COMMITMENT.
Commitment is the 3rd of 5 key skills you need in order to get through the fear and anxiety of dating and into an amazing partnership.
If you want great love, you have to be more committed to being your best self in dating than to your fears.
Mira was more committed to getting help and using a system that works than to trying to do it alone.
And she was more committed to appreciating and investing in herself and others than to destroying and self-sabotaging her relationships through old fears and anxieties.
We can blame culture or men or our location or our luck, but my clients are getting great love because they are COMMITTED to themselves and the process. It’s just that simple.
Commit to love more than your fear or stories. Get the help you need. And watch how dating turns into a romantic adventure!
Xoxo, Violet
PS If you want to learn how to get to commitment, and create positive pathways to love, let’s talk. Schedule your free Breakthrough to Love session here: www.violetlange.com/talk
