The last week or so I’ve been writing about the healthy (versus unhealthy) masculine. And this final part in the five part series is one of the most important.

Why even care about healthy masculine at a time like this?

Because we need male allies — men who care about women’s rights and safety.

Because societally we must move towards interdependence — freedom AND connection.

Because most women I know do want a partner who loves them and can provide some emotional support — this is not the time to isolate or go it alone.

This is the time to make commitments. To choose love over fear. To keep standing.

I know many of you are going through tough times. Please do not give up.

The unhealthy masculine looks for complacency.

The healthy masculine looks for commitment.

The unhealthy masculine wants codependence, and for women to look the other way. It wants blind loyalty no matter how inappropriate the behavior.

The healthy masculine, however, wants commitment rooted in love — love of self, and love of other.

The healthy masculine knows that worthy commitment is only possible when we respect each other — anything less is manipulation.

Today is my anniversary with my husband Jason. Commitment is absolutely on my mind.

How can I be more committed to him, without losing myself? What am I committed to in our partnership this next year? How can our vision expand to serve more people through our love?

And probably the most important daily question:

Am I choosing (and embodying) anxiety and fear, or patience and trust?

There’s a difference between complacency and commitment. You get to choose it every day. And to back it up with your thoughts, feelings, actions, and community.

What are you committed to?

xoxo, Violet

PS if you’re committed to love, now, and want to make a stand for healthy relationships, you’re in the right place. We’ll be launching our podcast soon, and in the meantime we are still offering free Breakthrough to Love sessions for women who know there’s a way to be true to themselves AND have a great partner. If that’s you, let’s talk: 

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