{"id":2623,"date":"2018-07-17T08:12:02","date_gmt":"2018-07-17T15:12:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/violetlange.com\/?p=2623"},"modified":"2018-07-17T08:12:02","modified_gmt":"2018-07-17T15:12:02","slug":"the-scary-thing-about-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/violetlange.com\/blog\/the-scary-thing-about-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"The scary thing about dating…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Do you have the 3 month or 3 year \u201ccurse\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

Do your relationships never get QUITE as far along as you\u2019d like?<\/span><\/p>\n

If so, there\u2019s a pretty good chance your relationships are getting decimated by self-sabotage. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is SCARY, because you\u2019ve probably worked hard to get that date, or the second date, or the 2nd month of dating\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Scary because you\u2019ve probably thought \u201che was the one\u201d only to have him pull away for good.<\/span><\/p>\n

Scary because you might think \u201cbut I\u2019m doing everything right!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a part of ALL of us that says \u201cwhy does this happen to me?\u201d…<\/span><\/p>\n

That says \u201cit\u2019s TOO hard\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That says \u201cHE\u2019S a jerk\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And that part can engulf us if we\u2019re not careful. And take us out of the \u201cgame\u201d so to speak of love and dating.<\/span><\/p>\n

Good news though\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Beyond the victim, the crossed arms, the \u201cthis always happens to me\u201d energy, is something much deeper calling out…calling out for<\/span><\/p>\n

Compassionate Change.<\/span><\/p>\n

Without compassion, we\u2019ll take action but it won\u2019t be effective and our mind will \u201chunt us down\u201d and re-create the same circumstances. <\/span><\/p>\n

Like a fish with one fin, swimming in circles (sadly I saw this in Thailand on a dock waiting for our boat to the next island…I found it very perplexing and so often like what we see in humanity)<\/span><\/p>\n

And without change, we\u2019ll be complacent. We\u2019ll be tied to \u201cI\u2019m doing my best\u201d and other excuses for staying stuck.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like a dinosaur, we won\u2019t adapt until it\u2019s too late \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want to rid your relationships of self-sabotage (aka victim energy), make compassionate change\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Learn to set a healthy boundary.<\/span><\/p>\n

Learn to soothe your inner child and inner critic (what some people call our self-saboteur).<\/span><\/p>\n

Learn to improve your communication.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now you could spend years — even decades — doing this in therapy…and never quite get there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or you could change it in just three months with inner work, practical skills, and world-class support.<\/span><\/p>\n

But that is possible if and only if you listen to the part of you that\u2019s screaming for love, and tell your inner critic to shut up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Xoxo, Violet<\/span><\/p>\n

PS If you want compassionate change in your love life, and you want it NOW, I\u2019d love to connect. We offer 45 minute Breakthrough to Love sessions for passionate women ready to move on in their love life. If that\u2019s you, pick out a spot here: <\/span>www.violetlange.com\/talk<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you have the 3 month or 3 year \u201ccurse\u201d? Do your relationships never get QUITE as far along as you\u2019d like? If so, there\u2019s a pretty good chance your relationships are getting decimated by self-sabotage. This is SCARY, because you\u2019ve probably worked hard to get that date, or the second date, or the 2nd […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2624,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe scary thing about dating... - Violet Lange<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have the 3 month or 3 year \u201ccurse\u201d?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/violetlange.com\/blog\/the-scary-thing-about-dating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The scary thing about dating... - 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