{"id":1004913,"date":"2019-12-15T10:40:15","date_gmt":"2019-12-15T18:40:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/violetlange.com\/?p=1004913"},"modified":"2019-11-29T10:45:34","modified_gmt":"2019-11-29T18:45:34","slug":"do-you-have-issues-with-this-i-did","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/violetlange.com\/blog\/do-you-have-issues-with-this-i-did\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you have issues with this? I did…"},"content":{"rendered":"

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You might know me as someone who has been helping thousands of women find love. But what you might not know, is that when I myself was looking for love, I had a massive problem. A big blind spot. It was keeping me from feeling confident about dating, which made finding love pretty much impossible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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On the outside I looked successful, because I had graduated from Harvard Business School and was a well-paid executive coach. But deep down, I wasn\u2019t actually in touch with my intuition. I didn\u2019t know how to trust myself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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This led to me dating all the wrong people, staying for too long, and shaming myself for my divorce. It led to me getting swept up in the drama of dating, only to get ghosted or cheated on, and not be any closer to love.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Truthfully, I was afraid to trust myself, and I had no idea where to start. I had spent my life pleasing others and didn\u2019t know who I actually was, in life and in love. I was afraid if I was vulnerable, that guys would judge me. I was nervous that if I started to follow my intuition, I would end up all alone. I believed in other people way more than I believed in myself, so I endlessly sought the opinions of my girlfriends or my therapist, but none of them were really able to guide me where I wanted to go — which was to find the love of my life and get married.<\/span><\/p>\n

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One day I hit a breaking point. I was supposed to go to New York City to see my boyfriend at the time, and when I arrived at the gate and they called my zone, I simply could not go. I felt something for the first time — my gut sense — and more importantly, I actually followed it. I was terrified, but this was a changing point that has affected my entire life. Turns out that guy had been trying to sleep with one of my friends. But had I gotten on that plane, I don\u2019t know if I would\u2019ve been strong enough to end that relationship. I would have swept things under the rug. I would have put his needs above mine. I would have stayed stuck in my habit of trusting everyone but myself. And the big tragedy of that would have been never meeting my husband Jason or having a family I love. But so many people don\u2019t have the skills, tools, or insight to follow their intuition. They stay trapped in fear and miss out on so much love.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I don\u2019t want you to have to get to that breaking point, where it\u2019s as severe as your boyfriend cheating on you with a friend. I don\u2019t want you to have to pack up your little suitcase and go all the way to the airport only to return home. I want you to be able to trust yourself in every stage of dating and relationship — from when you first meet someone, to each text you send, to having those difficult but rewarding conversations about exclusivity, intimacy, getting married, and more.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I realized you don\u2019t have to be super spiritual, you don\u2019t have to be superwoman, and you don\u2019t have to push people away. In fact, the more you trust yourself, the more people will be drawn to you, for the right reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I realized that if I could work on trusting myself, which I had been practicing and working on before that pivotal moment at the airport, I could build this muscle of honoring my intuition, and get more love in return.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I started really working on the skills needed to trust myself, and everything changed. Dating and texting and swiping and all of that was no longer a black box of confusion and heartbreak. It actually became fulfilling, insightful, and fun. In fact just two weeks after the airport disaster, I met a great guy out and about whom I dated for 4 months, and not too long after that I met my husband.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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And that\u2019s what I want you to know is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

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